Here is a deep dive into the acts of service love language for babies and toddlers, including a huge list of ideas to inspire you with new ways to show your love in your family.
Is my child’s love language acts of service?
If your toddler is constantly asking for help with basic tasks, even if she knows how to do them herself, it might be. She might also show her love for you by helping you with chores, sharing, or doing things for you without being asked.
A baby may not understand the concept of acts of service, but you probably already have this love language covered. You must change her diaper, get her dressed, turn her over for tummy time, even help her burp! Even if she doesn’t understand that these are acts of kindness, all that help and closeness not only meets her needs to be a healthy little one, it strengthens the bonds between you.
Children under age 4 (and, indeed, all of us) need to be shown love in all five love languages. Read my overview here, and find ideas for the over languages to round out your approach here: physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation.
Why are acts of service important?
You may struggle to think of acts of service to show your child since you already do so much for him. As a reminder, the way we treat our children teaches them how to treat others.
“Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me.” -Mark 9:37
God asks us to care for all those in need, and none are more needy than helpless infants. Let us try to serve them with joy as we would serve Jesus Himself, rather than sighing at having another obligation put upon us.
Problems with Acts of Service for Babies and Toddlers
What about when “acts of service” just don’t fit our schedule? Sometimes my hands are full with my baby and my toddler needs to do things for himself.
If you really need him to do something on his own, try offering helpful alternatives. Verbally walk him through the steps of a task, offer to help with his jacket once he puts on his shoes, or ask him to help you with something when he’s ready.
With my daughter I try to help her when I can, but I still want her to learn to do things on her own. I try to help her with different parts of the process of getting ready every day. For example, this morning she had to put on her own clothes, but I helped with brushing her teeth. Other days she might brush her own teeth and I will dress her. Often we go halvsies on tasks: I’ll help you take your pants off, you put them in the hamper.
When she needs to learn something new, I know she must do it herself. In those cases, I try really hard to make one of the above compromises.
Acts of Service Love Language Ideas for Babies and Toddlers:
- Help your child with quick daily tasks like putting on shoes or buckling the car seat.
- Point out mutual family helping. I find my daughter loves helping as much as she loves being helped, so ask her to help often and teach her to notice how we help one another.
- Offer a hand for support when he’s climbing, running, or jumping.
- Fix a broken toy (and do it promptly).
- Warm up her towel in the dryer during bath time, or her clothes on a cold day.
- Draw a picture for your child of him in his favorite place or doing his favorite thing.
- Come up with ways to help someone else together (“Let’s pick up all the sticks so Dada can mow”).
- Pamper him if he’s sick or sad.
- Assign your child his own chore (age-appropriate and preferably enjoyable).
- Plan random acts of kindness just for them.
- Have a “yes day” of responding instantly; no “in a minute”s. In all events, respond as soon as you can and give precise timelines when you can’t (like “Once I dry my hands off I’ll be right there”).
- Bring extra of your own snacks or activities and plan to share.
- When she’s upset, find her favorite book or toy for her.
- Have service-based traditions, like a special meal you make for him on his birthday, or a special table setting for Sundays.
- For babies, say “thank you” when she hands you things, or even just when she keeps you company.
- Talk about helping as you dress and clean your baby or give him a toy he can’t reach.
Acts of Service and Loving God
We can use our child’s love language to help make God’s love concrete from the very beginning. Here are some Acts of Service ideas to help your little one feel closer to the Lord.
- Read and talk about Bible stories where God helped His people, such as the Exodus from Egypt; heartwarming stories like Esther, Ruth, and Tobit; or Jesus’ many miracles (Mark 1:40-42, for example).
- Memorize and repeat pithy verses about God’s love and help, such as Psalm 33:20 (“Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and shield.”, Psalm 121:1-2 (“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From whence does my help come? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth.”), and, of course, John 3:16.
- Instead of merely being thankful for good things or happy about good luck, speak of blessings. Point out all the good things God has given, and look for ways He moves in your lives.
- At Mass, watch the altar servers and other helpers together, and talk to your toddler about what they can do to help serve God.
- Do simple things for others, such as visiting the homebound or making cards to send to someone who is lonely. Talk about how we can be Jesus’ hands and feet in the world by helping others.
- Read together about Saints like St. Martin de Porres (and, really, most other Saints, too) who worked so hard to love God by serving others.
- Make decorations or collect flowers to give to God and Mary on your home altar.
- Describe the mysteries of the Rosary not merely in terms of historical events, but as ways that God helped His people and continues to help us.
- For Advent, put up a paper star for your toddler. For every kind deed he does, add a sticker or other decoration to the star. On Christmas, give the beautiful star to baby Jesus (this can be adapted as a Marian devotion, too).
- Teach your child the “We pray to the Lord”/“Lord, hear our prayer” response, and pray at a certain time each day for each member of the family and all the other intentions you can think of.
Do you have any other ideas to add? Comment below!
Check out the other posts in the series here:
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