Physical Touch Love Language Ideas

Here is a deep dive into the physical touch love language for babies and toddlers, including a huge list of ideas to inspire you with new ways to show your love in your family.

Is my child’s love language physical touch?

I know this is my son’s preference. He constantly hangs on me when I’m making dinner, and if I sit down at his level he just leans into a big hug and lays there. He cuddles stuffed animals and rubs his face on pillows. He laughs when his sister puts her feet on him or holds his arms. He’s always reaching and nuzzling.

How can you tell with a baby? Perhaps he enjoys being held in a variety of ways: gently, tight, upside-down. He loves tickles and kisses and brightens up when he is close to you.

Physical touch shares a lot of overlap with quality time. The difference is subtle, but if your baby nuzzles or hugs back he might prefer physical touch, whereas if he just needs you in the room all the time and wants to be with you, he might fall more into quality time. There isn’t a ton of difference at this age, but you may notice more as he grows. And it doesn’t matter if you can’t distinguish yet. He needs both!

The importance of cuddling babies

For babies, physical touch is very important. You may or may not subscribe to the idea of attachment parenting, but I find that having your baby physically against you in a wrap, sling, or carrier keeps him peaceful and helps you stay attuned to his needs. Again, babies are small and relatively portable, so it’s fairly easy to hold or carry them often.

As a plus, I find that when I touch my kids at Mass or in other situations where they really need to behave, they have an easier time of it. It’s a subtle and easy way to meet one of their needs and remind them that you love them. They need to know that they still have some of your attention, even if it’s not playtime!

The hazards of cuddling babies

All that said, there are times you should not be holding your baby. Co-sleeping is one example where it can cross the line. There’s some debate on this one, but there are ways to be near each other safely at night, and it’s too big a risk for me to be willing to take. Another time would be when cooking. Please don’t lean over the oven or fry dinner in hot oil with your baby in a sling!

Babies also need floor time to move and roll for their physical development.

And especially if you don’t have a lot of helping hands, moms need a break. A baby should be cuddled often, but she should also be able to be left safely and peacefully in a bassinet every now and then, and that takes some learning and practice for a baby who loves physical touch.

Making it a habit

As kids get older and more independent, we might need to be more conscious about giving touches. Especially in America there’s a tendency to prize independence above all, and that includes copious personal space. If you keep up a habit of physical touch from when it’s easy (when they are cute little babies), then perhaps it won’t be so awkward as they get older. It will just be part of life.

Here are some physical touch ideas for babies and toddlers:

Cuddles and hugs.
Teach him body parts.
“Paint” her with a clean paintbrush or makeup brush.
Read a book together with him in your lap.
Do a family group hug when Dad gets home from work each day.
Wrestle or roll her around on the floor.
Gently stroke his arms, legs, or hair.
Tickles!
Kiss her and pretend your lips got stuck to her face.
Go for a walk and hold hands.
Sit on the floor and let him lean back against you.
Teach her to high five or shake hands.
Wear him in the wrap or carrier while you do chores or run errands.
Kiss her hands.
Play “This Little Piggy” or sing “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.”
Play with different textures, like soft blankets, or squishy playdough.
Play with water and dribble it over his head and back during bath time.
Reach out and touch her in some way whenever she’s in arm’s reach: a stroke on the shoulder, a pat on the head, a touch on the arm or hand.
Play with his hair. And let him play with yours.
Tuck her into bed each night and wake her with a gentle touch.
Do stretches and dances together. Have him join your workout.
Baby massage.
Foot rubs, gentle stroking, back rubs as part of a routine.
Have a hugging quota or schedule each day (3 o’clock? Hug time! Just had a bath? Cuddle time! Fit in 10 hugs before nap!)
Twirl her.
Wheelbarrow races.
Jiggle him on your leg, horse-style.
Carry her and bounce.
Physical games like Twister or tag, or hand-clapping games.

What about when your hands are full?

Baby carriers of any variety are great. I love woven wraps because they can accommodate all sizes of babies and I can just throw by little boy on my back out of the way as I do my thing. But he’s getting pretty big now! Siblings, friends, and relatives are also great to share the demand for touch.

I find my son also responds very well to stuffed animals and fluffy pillows he can flop against. He’s almost a year and a half now, so he’s also distracted by other sensory experiences like going outside, button-pushing books, and kitchen utensils he can bang against other things. But sometimes I just have to take a break and sit down so he can hug me until he’s satisfied.

Physical Touch and Loving God

“And they were bringing children to him, that he might touch them…And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands upon them.” –Mark 10:13,16

Physical touch is a bit tricky, but there are lots of sensory experiences we can lean into to help make God’s love feel more concrete for little ones.

Here are lots of Physical Touch ideas to help your baby or toddler feel closer to the Lord:

When the consecration bells ring at Mass, hold your baby close and rub her back.
Cuddle while reading Bible stories together.
Make a prayer shawl for him, or have a special soft prayer blanket.
Pray the Rosary together (or just a few prayers) and let her chew a teether Rosary.
Play together with a soft or hard Saint doll.
Teach your little one to love the Eucharist and prepare her to receive it one day.
Lay your hands on him each night and trace a cross on his forehead to bless him.
Have a holy water font in a high-traffic area of your house and use it often. Bonus points for an unbreakable one at toddler height. Keep it filled!
Teach her the Sign of the Cross.
Have lots of baby-friendly religious toys. Etsy is a good place to start looking.
Visit a statue of Jesus or a Saint that he can touch. Often large outdoor ones are sturdy if there are no indoor ones he can touch at church.
Get creative with the Rosary: cuddling 10 stuffed animals or walking over 10 chalk beads on the driveway as you pray.
Wear your baby at Mass.
Let your daughter wear a chapel veil.
Cuddle your toddler at Mass as you explain things to her.
Learn a song with hand movements like “Jesus Loves Me.”
Teach him sign language for “Jesus” or other faith-related words.
Hold her and make a Way of the Cross.
Visit a cemetery and touch the headstones gently as you pray for the Holy Souls.
Bring a religious board book to Mass for him to flip through. Or help him turn pages in the hymnals, if you dare.
Let her play with lots of laminated holy cards.
Make a lap of church and try out all the holy water fonts.
Choose Sunday clothes with soft or interesting textures.
Hold hands while you pray together.
Point out statues or images around the church or your home. Even if your child can’t touch them, it is helpful to realize that Jesus and His saints have real human bodies and faces!

Do you have any other ideas to add? Comment below!

Check out the other posts in the series here:

Love Languages for Babies and Toddlers