I want to train myself to love better. Here’s my plan for the next month.
Any other busy parents out there? Do you spin your wheels so much that you find yourself settling into the same routines, the same reactions, the same meltdowns all the time? I know I do. I also know that the key to getting to Heaven is learning how to love, so I can be united with Love Himself.
So I decided it was time to stretch my love muscles and try to change things up! Here’s what I came up with:
The “Love More Love Better” Challenge
This is a 7-week challenge that focuses on the five love languages to practice loving in new ways. I’ve paired each language with a joyful mystery of the rosary, because prayer should be the centerpiece of any personal growth we are striving after.
I’m no expert on the love languages. But I do find that Catholic women tend to talk about them a lot, and they can be useful to think of new ways to love other people. If you have read the book and know more, comment with your thoughts!
I also am not trying each week to establish a sustainable level of change. I want to go all-out, stretch the boundaries in each category, and really focus on one aspect of love each week.
Week 1: Preparation
This is a week of prayer and preparation. I will go to Confession and ask for grace to be more loving. I will pray each day that Jesus will take my stony heart and give me His sacred heart. I will print out an image of the Sacred Heart and hang it over my sink. And over the course of the week I will sit and make a list of all (or at least many) of the things I’m thankful for about each member of my family, and some thoughts on the goodness of God.
Week 2: The Annunciation – Words of Affirmation
God sent an angel to our Blessed Mother, and he greeted her, “Hail, full of grace!” Mary was already perfect. God didn’t have to articulate her favor like this; surely it was clear enough from the favor He asked! God chose to call her a “Highly-favored one” because he loved her. I can also show my love for God and others with the words that I use. I will pray to the Word Himself for help!
This week I will focus on speaking my love to those I encounter. For my children, this means I will go all out in praising their good actions rather than critiquing. I will admire their art and tell them I love them whenever I think it. Why is it that I have so many loving thoughts for my kids, but so little of that makes it out through my lips?
For my husband, I will tell him how important he is to me. I will also try to compliment several strangers over the course of the week, or have positive small-talk when I’m out and about.
Of course, I want to love God better, too. This week I will pray the angelus–at least once a day. I will praise God with the psalms (I already to Divine Office, but I will focus especially on the praise). When I lie in bed in the morning, just waking up, I will gaze out my window and thank Him in prayer for all the blessings he has showered upon me. Perhaps this week I will give up secular music and listen only to hymns and God-centered songs.
Week 3: The Visitation – Acts of Service
After Mary’s fiat, she immediately rose and ran to help her cousin. She didn’t think of herself at all. Did she even finish her prayer, or take a moment of quiet to pray and take a breath, before rushing off to Elizabeth’s aid? Her action was her prayer. Love Himself came to dwell physically in her, and her immediate response was to rush off to help someone who might be in need. It’s easy to see how I can love better by serving those around me.
Acts of service is a tricky one for me. I have to do so much for my kids already. This week, I think, I will respond immediately when one of them asks for help, whenever possible. I will limit my “one minute”-type responses, and, just for this week, I won’t make them take care of their own tasks just for the sake of them learning how to do them. I will also plan and take the time to do an extra nice thing for one of them each day.
To love better this week I will also wake up early to help my husband get ready for work and pack lunches for him. I will attack my chores with cheerfulness! I’m going to brainstorm some random acts of kindness I can do when we are out and about–comment if you have ideas.
The good news is I can always offer my actions for the Lord, because “Whatever you do for the least of these you do for Me.” In this stage of life, I consider my after-dinner cleanup to be my Holy Hour. This week I will give up complaining, and I will get up early to have more time to help others.
Week 4: The Nativity – Physical Touch
Christmas is the time that God revealed Himself on Earth in the flesh! As someone who could be seen and touched! Imagine the Blessed Mother’s joy at holding God in her arms, and stroking His adorable face. She would have held and carried Him constantly. I can love better by fostering this physical closeness that God created us for.
This week, I will focus on loving better through physical touch. That will mean extra cuddles and story time for my kids. Perhaps I will have to turn the AC up–it’s pretty hot! I will make sure everyone gets frequent high-fives, at least, and hugs often.
Let’s do a group hug every day when Dad gets home from work!
I plan a special devotion to the Holy Eucharist this week. I will try to get to daily Mass at least once, perhaps more. I will make spiritual communion at least once a day. When I pray, I will hold a crucifix. I will also pray the rosary with beads, not just listening and multitasking.
Week 5: The Presentation – Gift Giving
At the presentation, Mary and Joseph gave the beautiful gift of their child back to God the Father in the temple. At the same time, Simeon foretold that He would be a gift to all the nations. And, of course, God gives us Himself as a gift. The whole scene is imbued with generosity. I think of Anna, giving herself to the service in the temple for decades of her life. Mary and Joseph give the simple offering of the poor–two turtledoves. What can I give to Him who has given everything to me? I can love better by learning to give myself and my things.
This week I will buy a small treat for each child and my husband. We will also make gifts together for one another and for family coming to visit soon. I’m going to spend extra time this week working on getting Christmas and birthday gifts ready. This week I will also try to declutter, not so I can get new things, but so I can learn to live more simply and save more of my resources to help the poor.
What can I give to God? I think that this week I will offer sacrifices. I can give up treats and comforts for this week and offer my suffering to God.
Week 6: The Finding in the Temple – Quality Time
Joseph and the Blessed Mother missed Jesus so much over the days He was gone. When they found Him at last, they sat at His young feet and asked Him to teach them the meaning of their sorrow, the reason for this separation. They wanted nothing more than to be close to Him. I must train myself to value my time with Christ so much! I can love Him by seeking Him and yearning to spend time with Him, too.
This week I will love better by giving my time to my family. I will do fun things with the kids, and then sacrifice my “me” time to do the necessities. I will focus on mornings and bedtime, making sure to be present, and I will get down to kid level when we talk.
I will try to be more attentive to strangers, too, sacrificing my time to help someone in need of help or companionship rather than rushing past to get to the next thing on my schedule. I will give up my phone as much as possible this week, and I will spend at least 15 minutes in prayer during the kids nap/quiet time!
Week 7: Bringing It All Together
This is my catch-up week. If I didn’t do very well in one of the previous weeks, I will try it again here. I want to focus especially on prayer again this week, praying for God to fill my heart with love and show me the path I should walk. I will read scripture daily this week and journal (as a kind of lectio divina) to really listen to what God is saying and consider how I can keep loving well in my day-to-day life.
Final Update and Reflection
Once I finish the challenge, I’ll let you know my thoughts here!
Did you do the Love More Love Better Challenge? What did you think? Comment below!
Leave a Reply